How [Racist, Sexist, Ageist, Looks-ist, Dumb And Insecure] Are You?
This might seem like a question that takes a lot of thought and consideration to answer. But I’ve discovered a speedy way to uncover your prejudices and peccadilloes: The online nanny search.
Yes, we’re on a hunt for a new nanny and, as with all searches, I’ve turned to the internet to see what’s out there. You’d be amazed how specific these sites get. After popping in your coordinates, you get a series of pull-down menus to help you narrow down candidates to your ideal match. You get your choice of what country they live in, what country they’re from, what language(s) they speak, gender, age, smoking status, skill sets and so on.
At first, it was easy and straightforward. We want a female—no mannies for us. Yep. Sexist. Check.
Age: Older than 22, younger than 40, though Dman and I are debating that. I keep telling him, “Your favorite nanny was over 50 when she started!” Ageist. Check.
Language: English. French. And/or Spanish. (But what’s Bahasa Malaysia and Bangala?) Dumb. Check.
Nationality: We chose from countries where English, French and Spanish would be the native languages but coolly appraising the hundreds of countries and deciding, “Nope. Not possible. Huh? Where’s that?” made me feel a little racist and even more than a little stupid. (Am I the only one who has no idea what nationalities Bashkir, Gambian and Mosotho are?) Embarrassingly dumb, especially for an Ivy League grad. Check. Vaguely racist. Check.
Then the pictures came up. And as I looked at these lovely 20-something nannies/au pairs, I thought to myself, “What kind of crazy person would hire this gorgeous young thing to take care of her kids and even live in her home? In close proximity to her husband?” I mean, there’s a reason the whole “husband and babysitter” cliché exists. (Hello, Jude Law.) Dman’s a good guy but really, can he be expected to be a saint? So I disregarded the model-esque au pairs in favor of the older, less nubile candidates. Looks-ist (in reverse). Check. Insecure? Totally. (So sue me.)
Of course all these specifications have left me with a very, very narrow pool of choices. Shit out of luck? Check.
I was an ‘au pair/live in nanny’ while attending Uni. I know that checklist is legit but you might want to look at that potential nanny’s interest and field of study first? I know a lot of au pairs and as obvious as it sounds, those that were studying to be in the medical professions were a lot better with babies and toddlers. Communication majors = best w/ teenagers. Luckily I was ‘babbysitting’ a young girl (now a young lady) so it wasn’t as much of an issue that I was a poli sci major but admittedly I didn’t fare as well when it came to helping her with her homework. In fact she’d call me the “crazian” because I supposedly acted like a ‘crazy Asian mum’ and ‘lost it’ too fast when helping her w/ maths. I’d say try to leave your contact info outside paris descartes (fac de medecine/paris V) or the ecole veterinaire. The students there will likely be of a more ‘caring’/motherly nature than the socially awkward engineer. JK! Stereotyping? Check.
Thank you, Marie–this is insightful and helpful! And you’re so funny re: the “Crazian.” Honestly, I think we Asians lack the patience gene for dealing with students who are slow at picking something up. Or maybe it’s just me (and my mom…)
Bahasa Malaysia is just the Malay name for the Malay language.
Official language of Malaysia, a country consisting of at least three different races, Malays, Chinese and Indians, whose citizens are mostly at least bilingual and speak English, Malay, Chinese (Mandarin, and a whole host of other dialects), Tamil or combinations of those.
From,
A Malaysian (who speaks English, Malay, French, Mandarin, Hokkien, and a smattering of Cantonese
Thank you! And I’m truly impressed by your polygon-ism
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