This morning, my blissful slumber was disturbed by our home phone ringing sometime before 8 am. Dman and I decided to ignore it, only to have it start ringing again not five minutes later. He got up to answer it and I heard him say, “Yes, this is Dman. Yes, from the show. Who is this? Who? Who’s calling?” Whoever it was hung up the phone then—only to ring back a minute later. I told Dman to give me the phone.
I answer, “Hello? Who is this?” to a rude woman saying, “Dman, Dman.” I say, “Who is this? Why are you calling and what do you what?” She stammers, “I want to talk to Dman.” I say, “That’s too bad, you’re speaking to me and unless you can tell me who you are and why you’re calling my home, you’re not speaking to anyone else.” She hangs up the phone. To ring back again in a minute. I answer again. “Dman, I want to speak to Dman,” she insists. At this point, I’m fed up and inform her, “Listen, you crazy bitch. Stop calling our home or I will call the police.” She hangs up again. And calls again. This time, she tries to tell me she’s an Algerian journalist. That’s great, I say, what is your name and how did you get this number? “I don’t speak English well,” she says. “Fine, do you speak French?” I ask her, since many Algerians (and one would think an Algerian journalist) speak French. She hangs up again and our phone goes silent for a good hour.
That good hour being up, of course the phone rings again. It’s Dman who answers and is actually polite to her, asking for her information, letting her know someone will be in contact with her, and finally telling her not to call this number again. I, meanwhile, am waving my hands and saying, “Why are you talking to this freak?” She must have said something like, “I’m sorry about [bothering] your wife.” To which Dman responds, “Don’t worry about my wife.”
Don’t Worry About My Wife?!
Let me count the ways this has annoyed me to no end, which Dman does not seem to understand:
1) I have dealt with a plethora of crazy Dman fans, who’ve stalked my FB page, sent harassing emails and have left nasty comments on my YouTube videos. I’ve actually had to have YouTube suspend people’s accounts because of the offensive remarks Dman fans have made to/about me.
2) Our home phone number is unlisted. So whoever this person is had to do a lot of digging in order to find it. Dman’s “logical” explanation, “Well, the call center for our phone company is in Algeria, so maybe they work there or they have a friend who works there.” So either this person did something illegal by looking up our number or had their friend do something illegal? And this makes them less crazy?
3) My biggest issue is that Dman answering the phone and actually being polite to this utter weirdo who’s invading our home privacy utterly negates any respect for my wishes, which I think were pretty loud and clear. Don’t give insane people the satisfaction of actually getting what they want, which in this case is having a conversation with Dman. I mean, am I ringing up Christian Bale or Robert Pattinson in their homes—and demanding to speak to them? Also, I think it ruins any kind of unified front we are supposed to have as a couple when Dman decides to play good cop and then says, “Don’t worry about [pissing off] my wife.”
4) Over the years, I’ve had my own share of bizarro fans and I’ve realized there’s no point in speaking to them or being too polite because it only encourages them to continue acting inappropriately. Dman seems to think otherwise, obviously.
5) I would think my previous unpleasant encounters of the Dman crazed-fan kind would make him more sensitive to my sensitivity over this kind of thing—which it clearly hasn’t. Hence my further annoyance this morning.
This is the drama swirling around our home today. Maybe I’m the crazy one, though I patently don’t think so. But in the spirit of fairness and objectivity, I’d like to know what you think about it all. Am I the second coming of crazy? Or am I right to be pissed off?
Tags: Christian Bale, crazy fans, marriage drama, Robert Pattinson, unlisted phone number
“Don’t worry about my wife?” Really? Was this in English or French? Maybe I’m missing something that get’s lost in translation if it was in French. IMHO you have every right to be PO’ed, I know I would be… =/
Hi M,
Years ago I dated some dude who had a cult following, so he attracted all kinds of crazy fans. People would post really judgmental things about me online. Once we had to go on a week long trip where fans paid to listen to my ex and his colleagues talk. I remember one girl following us around during the entire trip, even figuring out where we were staying to wait outside to tell my ex how much she wanted him, blah blah.
As you can imagine, I was incensed. “Bitch! How dare she!” I wanted him to tell her off, “I have a girlfriend who I love and you are disrespecting her and us by behaving like this. So back off.” But of course he didn’t. He indulged her by talking to her, letting her follow him around, and entertaining her fantasy that he was within reach. I was livid.
When I asked him about it, he said “All the crazy fans and my public persona are part of my job. Unless she’s threatening our well being, I need to be polite.” I spluttered, “But she’s threatening *my* well being.” Then I realized that he thought of his well being and my well being as two different things and it was never quite right after that.
So I guess what I’m saying is that you are justified in feeling betrayed and angry that Dman would say something like “Don’t worry about my wife.” He should never say that to anyone, he should always have your back, without question and reservation. At the same time, I can understand his desire to protect his public persona (What if it were really an Algerian journalist?). I think he could have handled the situation better from the outset (Setting boundaries with the woman after the first couple of calls – “If you keep calling, I will call the police. If you need to talk to me about professional matters, let me direct you to the right web site/ email address.” His job as being part of your family should come before his work obligations.